WALMART CAN GO TO HELL
And non-dairy creamer is really flammable...really...
So, it was hooray for my department week at work. A week long pat on the back. Woo hoo.
It culminated on friday when I was the proud winner of a $25 gift certificate..........to WalMart. I really really hate walmart.
So, I decided I would go there and waste it on silly things, including mouse traps, spray paint, and non-dairy creamer. There were 5 of us sitting in Dave's basement when the decision was made that we should head there. Mike and Dave decided it would be good to get dressed up in their finest clothing, because you can't have people at Walmart thinking any less of you.
Yeeeeeeesssssss.....that is a mullet wig and a greasy hair wig, and all the accessories a true Larry the Cable guy fan would need. Bonus points for Mike because the denim sleeveless thing he's wearing has some of that crappy eagle\wolf "art" on the back.
The problem was, once we got in there...they fit in perfectly. I expected it to be funnier than all hell, but in reality they fit in too well. One of the objectives was mousetraps, and we were having trouble locating them. I see Mike walk around a corner, and upon encountering an employee he says, "Y'all got mousetraps" in a manner that can only be described as similar to Billy Bob Thorton in Sling Blade.
I thought that was funny....but then the employee didn't react...almost like it was normal to talk like that there. She led us to the mousetraps, and went on her way without incident. No reaction at all. Unbelievable...
The next stop was White Castle's...
The employees kept calling more people out of the back...and every last one of 'em was surprised to see half a man staring at them from the counter.
We said our goodbyes , and then some lady chased us out the front door...then darted through the restaurant and out the back door. I guess she was worried that the big guy carrying a fake man through the parking lot was up to no good.
So off to Dave's house for a science experiment. Non-dairy creamer + fire = Wow.
That was a surprise...but if you think about it, it is just fuel (glucose) with a low activation energy (due to it's tiny particle size aka high surface area to mass ratio) being sprinkled onto a fire in a oxygen rich environment.
My advice is to avoid pouring it into your coffee over a candle.