Steamrollin
Because smooshing things is fun.
So awhile back Adam and I were having dinner and I asked, "What's the first thing you'd squish if you had a steamroller?" Without hesitation he excitedly replied, "A CHICKEN!"
So we rented a steamroller. They're surprisingly fast.
We gave people a few days to go out and fetch things that they'd like to smoosh. You never know what you'll find at a goodwill. And you never know how bad various "value" meats will smell.
And mustard + compression = mustard all over Chris.
This is a good idea.
Even the normally reserved secretly want to smush things.
And bubble wrap... classic.
So yeah...... weeeeedeeoh time.