20,000 Leagues Under the Rohlfer's Pond

with Dave Cousteau, 9-23-05

" I am not what is called a civilized man, Professor. I am done with society for reasons that seem good to me. Therefore, I do not obey its laws."

So dave says to me, let's go test this old scuba gear. I of course am curious as to how he intends to do this, because we are lacking a tank. The tank is considered a valuble asset to some scuba divers as it affords them the luxury of breathing whilst under the waves. Those scuba divers are also known as "sissies".

I give you a fool and a man's man.

I give you a man that needs to wear swim trunks over his wetsuit to hide his shame.

 

This renegade of the profession had a plan though. In place of the traditional scuba tank, he would use...........a garden sprayer. He assured us it had never held poison. Hey, they are his lungs...not mine.

 

It took a bit of effort as you see here.

But after minutes and minutes of furious pumping, he had about 10 breaths worth of air stored and it was time to test it out.

It was about then he realized he could not sink well, even with the weights he had attached. Not that it mattered much as 10 breaths will not last you long underwater anyway.

And look at him go!

A little before he had hopped in we called Phil, as he lives close. He grabbed his first aid kit and an..........air tank. Now, isn't that handy?

Doesn't he look official now?

Now, with actual air and the weight to sink he was finally ready to explore the depths of a...pond. The only tricky part was getting in and out. Eventually he mastered getting in at least.

At this point I sort of lost track as to what was going on, as I was distracted by a bigass spider.

That thing came charging out of the woods with a small car in it's fangs. Fortunately Tony Danza showed up to save us. The spider ate him. His hunger sated the spider sat with us and laughed at Dave's antics.

Those ducks never saw him coming. Yeah, you get those ducks Dave.

 

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